I’ve had a crazy year and it looks like my website is going to be my outlet. I’ve tried so many different things, but they just haven’t done what I’ve needed to handle my situation. However, writing, as always, has held up well for me. I don’t want to just use a journal for this, because while I’m going through compounded intense personal issues. I think others might find help from hearing what I’m going through. My experience might be rare or might not be, I’m not sure. What I do know is that listening to others who have been through the same has helped me a whole bunch.
So, I guess I should tell you what has happened. I’m not going to go into the stuff yet, because it’s a lot. I will expand on these later, but for now I just want to give some updates on where I am and why I’m changing things here.
In August of 2025 my best friend, Snake Plissken got sick. I took him to the vet and then a specialist. He was put on a special diet that he did not take to. As this continued, due to many issues of personality, my ex and I broke up. Snake grew sicker and sicker, until he was on his death bed. From what I credit to the medicine VetCDB, he had a sudden recovery in December, and while he wasn’t cured or even fully healthy, he was up and eating at the end of the year.
In January, my dad got sick. He had been feeling tired, so he got checked out. He was given a medicine for an infection. He became very tired. He went to the ER one night and found out he had cancer. The cancer was bad, but we didn’t know yet. In about a month my dad went from fine to unresponsive in the hospital. On March 3rd, he passed. I was with him.
I went home. 47 days later my other best friend died in my arms too. Snake had slowly gone downhill since his recovery in December. He had intestinal cancer and there was nothing that could be done. He fought to the end. He was the best little dude of all time.
That one two punch is such an extreme thing to go through. It’s intense. Especially because I did it alone. We should have broken up even earlier, so it’s not a complaint, it’s just pointing out that every time I struggled I had no one to lean on in person. I could call my mom or sister, but it felt like that was it for a long time. Of course there’s more to this story now that I’m writing this from months in the future, but it’s a long one and I want to give a better explanation than what I can do today. It includes some amazing friends that really came through.
My point in telling you these things isn’t to tell you to feel bad for me. No way, no how. I don’t want that. I’m telling you these things because if you’ve gone through similar, maybe some of what I’ve done or am doing will help you. Or maybe just hearing my stories will be something to get your mind off of things for a while. Who knows how anyone will use this, if anyone ever even finds it. This is the age of curated internet searches with AI dominated results, so I’m probably writing to an abyss. Either way, I’ll continue because I want to.
Because I want to might be the motto for my next steps in life following my losses. Not that I did anything bad, nope. Not at all. I did something pretty good. I stopped eating at first. I became a one meal a day person in my sadness. I did my maintenance workout at home and lost a good amount of weight. At the end of May I got a personal trainer. I was given a diet to follow. I’ve modified it to fit what works for me and it accelerated my weight loss like crazy. At the time of this writing, I am down 130 pounds from a high of 336 in January of 2025. I had slowly started around then. But was about 290 when my dad got sick one year later. This journey has been it’s own thing with it’s own extremely hard challenges. Far more mental than physical and this is what I want to focus my sharing on. I want to share my journey from morbidly obese to, well, currently my BMI has me at overweight, but that’s a first for me. I’ve never been that low. I’ve only ever been in the obese category. Anyway, that’s the journey I want to share. I know people will enjoy hearing my struggles. Especially if they can use them as an excuse for themselves about how hard the work is. Haha. Ok, maybe I do a little tough love here and there. I just feel it’s direct and honest. No reason to lie to ourselves about things like food and eating. But yes, that’s what I really want to share with everyone. My journey into fitness.
I hope to post more often. Maybe a few times a week, ramping up to more than once a day at some time in the future. Although that’s kind of a lot. Oh well.
I also believe I’m going to change the URL and name of the blog. We will migrate to the new name, but the old branding will stay the same and I don’t think I’ll change the YouTube channel name or anything. Although who knows what the future holds. The only thing I’m certain of is that I’m going to have a great healthy breakfast tomorrow morning, so I need to get to sleep. I will be back soon, and be ready, because I’m going to be so freaking annoying. So annoying!
Love you all.
