Top 5 Cigarettes

3 min read

Smoking used to be fun and cool. It was a swell thing to do for decades. Maybe even more than 100 years or so. In that time millions of beautiful cigarettes have been smoked. Ohhh, that smell, that taste, that flavor, the feeling of full lungs, the clearing of your lungs and throat in the morning, afternoon, night, middle of the night, morning again. Oh man, it’s making me need one just talking about it.

When I was younger, I always wanted to get some of those facial wrinkles and the cool raspy voice, but it wasn’t going to come naturally. With my genes I was going to be stuck looking and sounding young FOREVER. I couldn’t handle the thought of that. I needed someone, something to fix me.

I’ll be honest, I was lost at first. I was scared I was never going to sound or look mature. How is a fella supposed to look mature without wrinkles? Especially the wrinkles around the mouth and eyes. Those are the ones that really bring out the mature look. They’re cool, but I wasn’t going to get those anytime soon. Maybe never. I simply couldn’t stand that thought. So, I did what any reasonable 7 year old would do and started smoking.

Initially I would bum them from my friends and family members. Cigarettes were always around, so it wasn’t hard to find them. Soon after I decided that my mature look was going to need to be backed up by mature actions. I had to start buying my own. How would the girls at the playground treat me if they asked for a smoke and I had to go get one from Joe? That wouldn’t make me look good at all. At all! So I went down to the vending machine (cigarettes used to be in vending machines in the good old days) and bought a soft pack of camels. I packed them tight, ripped off the top, patted one out, then rolled the pack into my short sleeved white shirt. Not only did I look the part, I felt it.

Now that I had my pack, my confidence, and was looking mature, there was nothing to stop me. As a matter of fact, only three weeks later I was engaged to my first wife twins on the way.

It was the start of a beautiful relationship.

Lucky for me, that relationship has lasted the tests of time. I’ve loved cigarettes ever since with no looking back. We were meant for each other. Mmmm… I can taste one now.

Speaking of, not all cigarettes are made the same. Some are far better than others. Here’s my breakdown of what brands are the best.

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